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America’s Fading Decency

It is the morning after the President’s speech asking our polarized nation to come together and heal after the assassination attempt on Senator Gabby Giffords in Arizona and the death of so many, including a bright and curious little girl. As I sip my coffee and watch the morning news unfold, and read the tweets and other online comments about the president’s speech, I started to ponder the ideals that my parents (who passed away recently) always held sacred. What would they have said and thought – clearly imagining their horror and outrage at this latest classic American shooting spree. Horror and outrage based on the ideals that my sisters and I were raised with, and in so doing, I started to darkly ruminate on what it was that once made America great, in the days of “yore”.

Slowly, over time, our innocence and our decency as a nation has eroded. Some will point to the loss of a centered, religious life as the cause, some will point to our more recent military strong-arming as the cause, some will point, vociferously, to the to the hippie generation and subsequent women’s movement of the 1960′s and 70′s as the cause and some will point to technology gone wild as the cause, but I’m not so sure it’s any of those things. Or at least none of those things alone. We are a nation of political infants, when compared to the British Government, for example, which has existed with a set of rules, laws and codes almost unchanged since the time of Magna Carta, some 800 years ago. For us, here in America, it’s only 390 years since Plymouth Rock and only 235 years since Lexington and Concord and the ‘shot heard round the world’. A nation as young as ours always has problems caused by the factors already mentioned (and a whole host of others) while that society is learning and maturing.

But the point of this little essay is about decency; that intangible quality that has always been at the heart of the American persona. What is decency? Webster’s definition is broad ranging, from the archaic “fitness” to the more recent idea of conforming to the standards of taste and propriety. But this idea of American “decency” has far deeper, more intangible and esoteric meanings than these bland descriptions.

In the Human Comedy by William Saroyen, he presents an almost perfect picture of this sense of American decency. Other American art and literature by people like Harper Lee, Louisa M. Alcott, Mark Twain and of course Norman Rockwell, tried to put forth this ideal of American values – the winning out of American values in the face of other less wholesome factors. The unwholesome factors didn’t win. This was a world where friends defended friends, nations defended nations and were proud to stand up for Clark Kent’s ideals of Truth, Justice and the American Way. The American Way was “decency”.

Religious groups and fanatical fringe groups have taken a-hold of the word “decency” also. But their banner-waiving meaning, I believe, has twisted the core of what it meant to be “decent” in America. American decency isn’t about shoving your religious ideology down the throats of your neighbors. It isn’t about burning another’s religious tome or banning pornography, or shooting abortion clinic doctors or gay-bashing or tea-totaling or desicrating a funeral with political sign waiving nut-jobs or about radio and media pundits denouncing the President of the United States in barroom terms.

The image of American decency that I hold dear is about tolerance. It’s about “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”. It’s about that thing, that intangible American “thing” that Tom Brokaw stated best in the title of his masterwork “The Greatest Generation”.  Why were these men and women raised in the 1920′s, 30′s and 40′s part of the “Greatest Generation”? Because they upheld decency. They lived and breathed this concept of American decency. It was in the fiber of their beings. I have had the joy of knowing many of these people personally through my parents and their friends and contemporaries. Their whole approach to life was different than the Baby Boomers, Xers and Yers. The older generation’s understanding of the world at large and how the world works was profound, and yet exquisitely simple. It was a way of life based on decency, and decency alone. It was a way of life based on having faith in the common decency of man; of all mankind. Perhaps that is a naïve ideology, but it certainly worked for this country when it was needed; it brought this nation out of the Great Depression and through 2 World Wars.

America is based on decency and diversity. She has always been a nation of the “wretched refuse” from some teeming foreign shore, coming here to have a chance to live. To live free from oppression, free from religious fanaticism tainting and poisoning their governments or, on the flip side of that idea, free from religious suppression! Free, free, FREE. “Let Freedom Ring”. Does that mean coming here and having to learn to live with someone else’s idea of freedom? “Come here to America and let me tell you what your freedom is”? No. I don’t believe that was the focus of our founding fathers. They could never have envisioned the world as we know it now, but they were progressives and radicals in their time. They were free thinkers, revolutionaries, let us not forget, and brave idealists. They forged a new nation from what was a savage, untamed and hostile environment. For this nation to have come into being, for their vision to take form, for these men and women to have a prayer at succeeding in this mammoth undertaking then “freedom”, in the grand American ideal, had to mean that many ideologies, religions, lifestyles, beliefs, and nationalities had to come here and live together. Working, living side by side, contributing to the society at large by being allowed to be themselves. This idea of the American “melting pot” meant that in order to add to the vibrant texture of our society these differences of beliefs and lifestyles had to be honored and exalted. In order for America to survive, these differences must be held up, especially now 235 years later, as sacred and untouchable. These differences, this diversity, is the core and the heartbeat of America as we know her. Destroy this diversity, stamp it out, or break it down and you hail the end of the nation and the beginning of a place that I don’t want to live in.

So, I guess American “decency” to me has always been, at it’s heart, kindness. Yes, kindness. The rising tide of fanatical groups in this country, both political and religious, are quick to denounce in the name of God or money those they fear or disagree with (for many God and money are one and the same thing). These groups are quick to disown, to denigrate, to criticize, to use sarcasm and viciousness to undermine and weaken their opponents, to lie and manipulate, and in some very extreme cases, even to kill those who do not agree with their idea of “decency”. What happened to kindness in America? What is the core spirit and driving force in this growing political and religious movement that seems, on it’s face, to advocate hate and fear? The fanatics say it is all in the name of the love of God, or the love of the common man and Main Street, but love has little to do with the underlying message, if you truly listen to the words that are spoken. There is no kindness, no love and certainly just common decency seems to have little to do with their agenda(s).

I know that politics and economics muddies the waters for most people. The specter of the unknown looms up and takes hold, driving good and thoroughly decent people to say and do things they would otherwise never imagine doing. Technology and electronic communication has also helped to erode the walls of decency. Online videos, viral spin by uneducated morons who have never had a platform before can spew their idiocy. It is now commonplace. People like Loughner can criticize grammar and talk about “the brainwash” of the American people. His crazy ranting can actually be witnessed – worldwide. This kind of technology would have been Hitler’s dream! On a lesser but just as disturbing scale, cyber bullying is another example of this societal erosion and this decay. Since when were Americans a nation raising mean spirited, cowardly children? To cyber bully someone takes no courage, no intelligence and no thought. Children can be mean, certainly. They need to be taught by their parents to be merciful and thoughtful. When a child showed a bullying streak, their parents and the American ideal of decency was always there to temper their behavior – to teach “treat someone the way you want to be treated”. The old fashioned schoolyard bully at least had the courage to do it in person; in your face. The cyber bully can sit cloaked in anonymity, spewing hate and vitriol in perfect seclusion, alone, to wreak their havoc. And the adults these days are no better. Online chats, social pages, blog comments and message boards, while offering a means of “staying in touch” and of gaining information, are many times also just a means for angry, hate filled rants, often directed at other adults. But it’s anonymous, and non-personal. The things written on these pages would never be said to the victim in person and that is because of one thing…decency. You simply don’t say those things to a person’s face. It isn’t the “decent” thing to do. Loughner chose to use the cloak of technology first, and then he took it to the ultimate next stage, and made it tragically personal and “in person”. Thankfully, most of these cyber bullying wackos don’t.

Has America had her darker moments? You bet. Do I think that there have been times when America has lost her way? Of course. But decency, in the end, has always won out in these times of dark oppression – the times when greed for money or land or human bondage blinded our government to our original path of decency. Heck, we’re living in one of those times now, and we must reacquaint ourselves with the core of American Decency to survive as a nation.

In the aftermath of the Arizona assassination attempt, I’m thinking about all the victims who lost their lives that day, but especially about that little 9 year old girl, who loved her country and just wanted to be politically and socially active. This child gave the ultimate gift of love and kindness to a total stranger, as her organs were donated to save a stranger’s life. This bright and inspiring little girl understood the American founding fathers’ original concept of decency, better than most adults, and certainly better than the pundits and politicos, reminding me of the bible verse “…and a little child shall lead them”. She is a true American hero and her example and sacrifice is one we should always remember. Her decency and kindness should be an inspiration to us all.

 

 

About the Author

C.R. Manning is a Human Resources / Accounting professional, writer, artist and musician, living in the Los Angeles Metro area.

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Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-In-Training $24.94 At forty-four, Tom Jokinen decided to quit his job in order to become an apprentice undertaker, setting out to ask the questions: What is the right thing to do when someone dies? With the marketplace offering new options (go green, go anti-corporate, go Disney, be packed into an artificial reef and dropped in the Atlantic..), is there still room for tradition? In a year of adventures both hair-raising and hilarious, Jokinen finds a world that is radically changed since Jessica Mitford revised The American Way of Death, more surprising than Six Feet Under, and even funnier and more illuminating than Stiff. If Bill Bryson were to apprentice at a funeral home, searching for the meaning of life and death, youd have Curtains.

Developmental Psychobiology of Aggression $34 The studies in this book draw upon knowledge from multiple disciplines (e.g., child development, anthropology, psychobiology, psychiatry, and genetics) with the hope that investigating aggression at multiple levels of analysis will provide a springboard for a new generation of research oriented towards understanding the causes of aggression.

How to Deal with Verbal Aggression $21.59 Book DescriptionHave you ever been the victim of verbal aggression?Have you been talked down to, shouted at, sworn at or threatened? Would you like to be able to protect yourself from verbal aggression? Do you remember a time when you were made to feel uncomfortable by the way someone spoke or shouted or screamed at you? You may even remember actually being scared because of the anger and hostility aimed towards you….. You can learn how to deal effectively with verbal aggression when it happens at work, at home or on the street. Would you like to know…. What are the three causes of Anger? What are the four types of Anger?and most importantly… What are the three primary ways of dealing with verbal aggression? ‘How to deal with Verbal Aggression’ is full of facts and techniques that can help you… What are the five main ways of understanding the meaning of what people say? What are the four best non-verbal defensive strategies? What are the four critical verbal defensive strategies? How can you cope with people who continually swear? How do you deal with aggression on the telephone? What is the most important thing to remember in a face-to-face situation All of the above and much much more is covered in easy to understand detail. ‘How to deal with Verbal Aggression’ will teach YOU how to deal with Verbal Aggression.

Developmental Origins of Aggression $65 While aggression is often conceived as a learned behaviour that peaks during adolescence, this volume shows that aggressive behaviours have their origins in early childhood and even infancy.

Dynamics of Human Aggression $47.5 Aggression is often thought of as involving hostility, anger, or destructiveness. The authors of book challenge this view, and justify their new theory to readers on both the theoretical and clinical fronts.

The Psychology of Social Conflict and Aggression $75 This book offers an informative, scholarly yet readable overview of recent advances in research on the nature, antecedents, management, and consequences of interpersonal and intergroup conflict and aggression.

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Curtains: Adventures Of An Undertaker-In-Training $18.59 If Bill Bryson were to join a Winnipeg funeral home as an apprentice and if he searched for the meaning of life and death while he was at it you’d have Curtains – enlightening full of life in the midst of death and very funny. "There’s a time from when someone dies to when they magically pop up at the funeral or as a bag of ashes that remains a black hole invisible to civilians and they’re happy with that arrangement. My job covers that gap." At forty-four Tom Jokinen began to seriously question the secular funeral rites that are taking over the industry: is this really the way we want to say our final goodbyes? The question had such a hard grip on his Finnish soul that he decided to quit his job in order to become an apprentice undertaker. Curtains is about what he found from the mundane to the macabre. Among the things he learned: in cremation the heart and head are the last parts to burn; purple lipstick looks best on a dead man; funeral directors have been known to dance during the service – out of sight of funeral goers of course and with the utmost respect for the dead. For anyone who’s secretly wondered why they paid $2000 for a 5-lb bag of dust – or questioned whether that dust was really the person they loved – Curtains lifts the veil on the funeral industry in the 21st century. From the Hardcover edition.

Torchwood: The Undertaker’s Gift $72.69 <p>The Hokrala Corp lawyers are back. They’re suing planet Earth for mishandling the twenty-first century, and they won’t tolerate any efforts to repel them. An assassin has been sent to remove Captain Jack Harkness.</p><p> </p><p> It’s been a busy week in Cardiff. The Hub’s latest guest is a translucent, amber jelly carrying a lethal electrical charge. Record numbers of aliens have been coming through the Rift, and Torchwood could do without any more problems.</p><p> </p><p> But there are reports of an extraordinary funeral cortege in the night-time city, with mysterious pallbearers guarding a rotting cadaver that simply doesn’t want to be buried.</p><p> </p><p> Torchwood should be ready for anything – but with Jack the target of an invisible killer, Gwen trapped in a forgotten crypt and Ianto Jones falling desperately ill, could a world of suffering be the Undertaker’s gift to planet Earth?</p><p> </p><p> <i>Featuring Captain Jack Harkness as played by John Barrowman, with Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones as played by Eve Myles and Gareth David-Lloyd, in the hit series created by Russell T Davies for BBC Television.</i></p>

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Proud Father Of An UNDERTAKER Funeral Large Mug by CafePress $18 Visit www.cafepress.com/jobgifts for more Proud Father Of An UNDERTAKER shirts,Proud Father Of An UNDERTAKER t shirts,job and office mugs, hats,stickers, pins and many more Undertaker clothing appar Funeral Large Mug Super-size your favorite beverage or just size-up to avoid spills with our hefty, 15 oz. ceramic Large Mug. Large easy-grip handle. When you need more, mug it up. Measures 4.5 tall, 3.25 diameter. Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Aggression und Gewalt $49.95 Was ist Aggression, und wie wird aus Aggression Gewalt? Nimmt Gewalt zu? Welchen Einfluss haben Geschlecht, Familie und Schule? Diese Fragen beschftigen Wissenschaftler und Praktiker unterschiedlicher Disziplinen, weil Aggression biologische, entwicklungspsychologische, soziologische, pdagogische und sozialpolitische Aspekte berhrt, die alle im Alltag erhebliche Tragweite besitzen. Klaus Wahl, einer der fhrenden Aggressionsforscher in Deutschland, legt in diesem Buch eine bersicht ber den aktuellen Wissensstand zum Thema Aggression vor, der in vielfltigen Studien von der Genetik und Gehirnforschung bis zur Kriminologie und Kriegsforschung zusammengetragen wurde. In neuartiger Weise wird das Zusammenspiel der biotischen, psychischen und sozialen Mechanismen vorgefhrt, die zu Aggression fhren. Das Buch ist wie ein lesbares Lehrbuch geschrieben und bietet Studierenden und Wissenschaftlern der verschiedenen Disziplinen sowie interessierten Berufspraktikern komplette Informationen zum Nachschlagen, denn auf viele brennende Fragen zu Aggression und Gewalt gibt es neue berraschende Antworten.

Rethinking Aggression and Violence in Sport $63.95 This book explores the psychological aspects of aggression and violence, to try and understand what motivates a player to embrace aggressive and violent behaviour, and to explore some of the moral an behavioural issues that surround the topic.

The Development And Treatment Of Girlhood Aggression $75 Focusing attention on the development and outcomes of girlhood aggression, this volume aims to highlight current understanding, identify key components for preventing and treating the problems experienced by aggressive girls, and raise new questions for future research.

Psychology of Non-Violence and Aggression $35.51 Covering the theories and models of the psychology of non-violence, this book explores the idea that this practice is not synonymous with the control of aggression but is an active behavior, combining mainstream ideas with new contemporary perspectives.

Aggression in Personality Disorders and Perversions $41.52 In this important book, one of the world’s foremost psychoanalysts explores the role of aggression in severe personality disorders and in normal and perverse sexuality, integrating new developments in psychoanalystic theory with findings from clinical work with severely regressed patients.

The Behavioural Biology of Aggression $43.66 The purpose of this book is to elucidate the general principles underlying animal aggression. Aggressive encounters occur even in very simple organisms, and are at the roots of human conflict. A general framework is provided by dividing forms of aggression according to their function – protection of the individual, offspring defence and competition. Within each functional group, the principles underlying the variety of aggressive behaviour in different species, the sexes and different life-cycle stages, are considered, and this is followed by a discussion of the mechanisms through which animals achieve the various functional ends. Aggression is viewed as one possible solution to a recurrent set of problems animals encounter in their natural environments. In any one case, the control and form of aggression are seen as the result of the interaction of past evolutionary environments, developmental influences and current circumstances.

Human Aggression (2nd Edition) $237.38 This revised edition includes new chapters on the development of aggression, biological bases of aggressive behavior, and aggression in natural settings; and extensive updates of the theory and research covered in the first edition. Author: Richardson, Deborah R./ Baron, Robert A. Series Title: Critical Issues in Psychiatry Binding Type: Hardcover Number of Pages: 444 Publication Date: 1993/11/30 Language: English Dimensions: 8.62 x 6.84 x 1.37 inches

Aggression, Crime and International Security $138 Aggression, Crime and International Security examines the concept of aggression in international relations and how it has been dealt with by international law and collective security organisations. This book analyses the evolution of the concept of aggression in international relations from World War I to the post-Rome Statute era. It charts the emergence of two competing visions of this notion: on the one hand, as a triggering mechanism for collective security enforcement among states, and, on the other, as an international crime giving rise to individual responsibility. The author argues that despite certain contemporary international trends suggesting a shift away from traditional, state-centric power structures towards a more cosmopolitan, globalized polity, the history of the concept of aggression demonstrates just how far away this is in reality. By examining aggression in theory and practice at the League of Nations, the Nuremberg and Tokyo Trials, the United Nations, the conference establishing the Rome Statute, and beyond, the book reveals the recurring moral, political and legal challenges this concept poses – challenges which continue to be at the forefront of thinking about international relations today. This book will be of great interest to students of International Law, War Crimes, International Relations and Security Studies.

Aggression by Budhal, Rishichand Sookai [Paperback] $135.42 MANIFESTATION AND MEASUREMENT OF AGGRESSION IN JUNIOR PRIMARY LEARNERS : Identification of aggression in Junior Primary Learners is often a difficult task due to the lack of appropriate measuring instruments. The assessment instruments used presently are unable to identify the subtypes of aggression. In order to address this limitation in the field of aggression, the present research was taken. A literature study was done where the concept aggression was defined and the relationship and differences between the subtypes of aggression( physical,verbal,covert and overt aggression) were examined. The factors that relate to aggression, namely, biological, personality, environmental and social, parental influence,frustration and media influences were identified. A reliable measuring instrument was developed to identify the four main subtypes of aggression in junior primary learners. The results of the research indicated that there were significant positive correlations between the subtypes of aggression. The educational implications of the findings are discussed and guidelines regarding treatment of childhood aggression are given for both educators and parents. Author: Budhal, Rishichand Sookai Binding Type: Paperback Number of Pages: 164 Publication Date: 2010/05/19 Language: English Dimensions: 5.98 x 9.01 x 0.37 inches

Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment $41.8 Most people see aggression between siblings as an unavoidable, normal and ultimately harmless aspect of child development, yet it can often cause social adjustment and behavioral problems, some of which may be severe and even precursors to other forms of violence. This volume addresses a significant void in family studies and child development literature by providing an empirically based guide to the causes, assessment and treatment of sibling aggression. Caspi considers both extreme (severe physical and sexual abuse) and lesser (competition and antagonism) forms of aggression and provides a step-by-step treatment program for five family dynamics that commonly exacerbate sibling aggression. Treatment is based on task-centered and family systems models and bolstered by case studies. Key features: oFills the void in the "emerging frontier" of sibling violence oAddresses both severe and lesser forms of aggression oIncludes step-by-step assessment and treatment procedures oOffers case studies oExamines cross-cultural factors in sibling violence as well as abuse of disabled siblings

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The Undertaker’s Wife: Wisdom and Musings; Life in a Small Town Funeral Home $15.49 “No one will forget the people who pass through the home of the undertaker’s wife. A fascinating life journey of the wife of an undertaker is also a practical guide to all who must plan or deal with end of life issues.”

Displaced Aggression $16.97 In this collection of the latest Ghostbusters adventure, the ‘Busters have been defeated by the pan-dimensional demon lord Kozar’Rai, Father of Gozer, and the villain has separated them across the time stream Dr. Peter Venkman is trapped in 1886, and his only chance to return to present-day Earth and free all of humanity from the Rule of Kozar’Rai has him teaming with a very unexpected (and very beautiful) ally

The Psychobiology of Aggression $88.2 This book is in Good Used condition

Biology Of Aggression $80.75 This book is in New – Excellent condition

Neurobiology of Aggression $99 This book is in New – Excellent condition

High Aggression $3.99 This book is in New – Excellent condition

State of Aggression $3 This book is in Good Used condition

Reckoning With Aggression $1.89 This book is in Like New condition

Aggression in Dogs $37.46 This book is in New – Excellent condition

Global Aggression $10 This book is in Like New condition

The Control of Aggression $24.95 This book is in New – Excellent condition